While reading a few of the other blogs I frequent, I realized that most of these writers have their own voice...a tone to their blogging that feels consistent, personable, and true to the people I'm getting to know them to be. Is it just me, or is my 'voice' becoming a little too whiny? A little too self-serving? A little too pessimistic?
Or maybe that is my real voice?
Crap...somebody throw me some happy juice, quick!!
You might not guess it, but I've struggled with my cup being half empty vs. half full all of my life. I do have a zest for life and happiness. I do see joy in seemingly joyless things. And yet, I'm still always waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the gong to sound. For the sand to run out. (For my brain to come up with some more cliches)
When I started this blog all the way back in June (!), I wasn't at all sure what direction I wanted it to go in. I had no purpose for it, really. I just thought it would be sort of cathartic to type out my feelings. Truth is, well, I'm not always totally truthful here. I definitely hold back. Part of that is so I don't sound like a completely insane, insensitive, schmuck. And part of it is to maintain at least a tiny bit of privacy for my family. I really think there's only one person in this world who has heard the worst of the thoughts that enter my head. (Thank you, L. What would I do without you?!)
I want to start blogging with a little more purpose. I'm still going to post things like "This day sucked ass." Or, "If I had a dollar for every time I said, 'M, get your mouth off the couch,' I'd be rich." But for the most part, I'm hoping to be able to be a bit more meaningful in what I write.
My buddy, Gwendomama, introduced me to a woman who is forming a blogging community for parents of kids with special needs. I'm thrilled that I'm going to contribute to it at least once a month. It is going to be rewarding to have a 'job' to do, aside from my demanding job of mothering. Once the site is up and running, I hope you'll show your support to the other contributors as well. In the meantime, you can check out the personal blogs of some of the writers who are already on board.
And with that, I'm going to go fill my glass--half full--with some red wine and enjoy this beautiful sunset!