Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Quick! Somebody Grab A Bible!

A couple of months ago I injured my hand and wrist. After a week or so, I thought it had healed. About a month later I had pain for a few days that soon subsided. And then this past week the pain came back, but this time it's been tenfold. I have a pretty high pain threshold (though a low bitching threshold as my other half will attest!) but damn if this thing wasn't really affecting me. The ache was highly annoying and the pain I'd get when I'd tweak it anytime I tried to rotate my wrist (which is, like, all the time since it's my right freakin' wrist) I'd feel like someone was sticking a knife in me and it would make me catch my breath. I'd load up on Tylenol before bed, but I'd still end up restlessly sleeping because it hurt so badly, and I'm prone to sleeping on my side with my right hand tucked under my pillow. So I caved and went to the doctor today to see if I needed to get an x-ray or see a specialist. Her diagnosis? A ganglion cyst. Say that with me everyone: GANG-LEE-UN CYST! Good, I knew you could! They used to call them 'Bible Bumps' because you could take a Bible and smash the sucker into bits. Yeah...totally gross.

Is that one of the grossest words you've ever heard? Ganglion ranks right up there with 'moist' in my book. (A side note: If you've never played the game 'words that sound gross, but aren't' it's pretty fun after a few drinks)

So, fortunately you can't actually see this sucker protruding from my wrist. I can sort of feel it inside and I'm hoping it doesn't decide to get bigger. When I googled this dreadful thing I ended up clicking on a YouTube video of one being excised from a guy's hand at the doctor's office. Did you know they only give you a local anesthetic to do that? I'm thinking, 'Oh, hell no. You will not just give me a shot and then put a scalpel into my wrist and remove some gross lump while I'm right there looking a it!' But from what the doctor said, this may be my only option for true relief if this thing continues to flare up this badly.

And I read this about aspirating the sucker instead:
"Nonsurgical treatment leaves the outer shell and the stalk of the ganglion intact, so it may reform and reappear." has a SHELL and even worse, a STALK? Did anyone see the mini series 'V?' Um, yeah...

So in the meantime I have been directed to wear a wrist splint and load up on three motrins, three times/day. I feel like such a wuss.

This ranks up there with the crazy hair I found on my chest as yet another thing that I am not so much liking about getting older.


Lori said...

I have referenced 'V' on several different occasions and nobody remembers it. It stuck with me because it was so bizarrly gross!!

Miss Kitty said...

I have heard of this V series you speak...but sadly never saw it...before my time;) BTW-scary chest hair thing...I know of what you speak. Not pretty and not fun. Getting older suxs azz.