Thursday, June 18, 2009

If I Had A Nickel...

...for every time I said, 'M, don't touch your penis,' 'hands out,' or 'M, get your hands out of your mouth,' I'd be a kazillionaire.

Seriously, folks. We have a penis problem 'round here, and it's rather stinky.

My child is so obsessed with his unit that you will find him probably 50 minutes out of each hour with one hand down his pants and one in his mouth. Have you ever seen a horse crib? It's the ultimate endorphin-high. I think my M has started his own version of cribbing with his new habit. It's like there is some imaginary string connecting the one hand down the pants to the other hand in the mouth. The two work in cahoots with one another except when the mouth is otherwise occupied with food-eating or a therapeutic chewy.

It really stinks (no pun intended) to be grossed out by your own kid, but honestly, his hands smell awful and I can only wash them so much. The dance we do after a session on the potty is something to behold. You try helping your nearly-six-year-old get from the potty to the sink without his hands touching you. It is becoming an art, no doubt. I joked with the other half that we could add a new, disgusting jelly belly flavor to the Harry Potter collection. Have you ever tasted snot, vomit or ear wax? I'm betting 'penis' would be the worst of the lot.

All joking aside, (was I joking??), there is likely a biomedical cause beneath all of this. M has battled yeast overgrowth issues in the past and is probably dealing with one now. DAN! doctors believe that kids with autism have more of an imbalance of bacteria, yeast, etc. in their guts that can lead to a variety of 'unsavory' behaviors. They believe in healing an autistic child from within, thus lots of vitamin supplements, dietary changes, antibiotics, anti-fungals, steroids and potentially even chelation. There is not a one-size-fits-all treatment plan for our kiddos and the plan of attack is constantly changing. Blood tests, urine tests, stool tests and instinct all come into play. We finally were able to successfully get a stool sample from M a few days ago that was promptly whisked away by the blissfully unaware FedEx man to the lab. I'll report back on the findings as soon as we get them.

Meanwhile, I finally found a pair of used overalls on ebay (because NO ONE has long overalls for sale right now) that should arrive any day. We're going to see if wearing overalls with a shirt ON TOP will help curb the now-obsessive, penis-grabbing habit. Wish us luck!


sarah said...

your not alone. Charlie loves to be naked so he can pull his foreskin across the room and TOUCH HIS BUTT, as he says. And isn't this somewhat normal, at least the men I have been with like to grab their package here and there, although I suppose you are talking more often than not.
great seeing you tonight and we look forward to hanging tomorrow.

Kara said...

Oh balls. Just catching up on blog reading during a rare moment of spare time around here. Want me to look in any of the hillbilly stores around here for overalls? Let me know the size. I am sure we can find them in this state of all states.