Today I had my yearly 'womanly' exam. Ahem. You ladies know just how exciting those are when they roll around each year. Anyhow, I really like the female doctor I have seen for the past three years, but having not gone through a pregnancy with her, she doesn't really remember much about me from June to June each year. We've talked the past couple of years about M and his disability and she has shown remarkable empathy and care toward me in return; offering up lots of encouragement and telling me that I was doing a great job. It never felt like b.s. She's a no-shit, genuine kinda gal from what I can read. But this year the kids didn't come up in the conversation, so the joggling of the ol' memory to remind her I had a child with special needs didn't naturally happen. And so, at the very end of my exam she asked me how old my kids were now. I replied that they are seven and four to which she responded, 'I feel like that's when life really starts getting a bit easier, don't you? At seven, they're becoming so much more self sufficient and easy to care for.'
I don't hold these types of comments from people against them. No, I simply try to tuck away that urge to let that little sound escape my mouth...the one that is mixed of sadness and a tinge of envy...and I chalk it up to another one of those things that make my new normal a little bit different from the rest of the world's. It really is okay. It just sometimes hurts a little more than I'd like to admit.
6 comments:
Completely understand. Yes, sometimes it does hurt more than we want to admit.
I don't have any wise words..only love and a big hug from across the country. xoxo
Oh, how I get this. And what hurts even worse is those who DO KNOW that your child is struggling and still show a complete lack of sensitivity even on their best days. Don't get me started ...
I actually want to hit that doctor.
It's her job to read the damn file before you enter the room.
If the 'compassionate' professionals can't be arsed 'getting it' , who will?
Grrr.
We sincerely feel your pain. It always hurts - often I want to burst into tears, and occasionally I feel the urge to laugh maniacally in their face with a giant "You're kidding, right?!"
Remember, as alone as you might feel in those moments, you are, if fact, not alone.
We are out there, and with you, sending loving support.
Sending you such a giant hug
Post a Comment