Sorry about yesterday's verbal spewage. We finally have the beautiful summer-like weather I have so desperately craved, but to the wrong extreme for our coastal town with its non-air conditioned homes.
So that combined with the heinous amounts of pee that have been coming out of my once potty trained M, and my need for a little 'me' time, had me buzzing like a hummingbird amped up on speed. I was well out of sorts for two whole days and just could not calm myself down enough to breathe and take pause for one moment.
It's still hot as hell in my house today, but I don't feel out of control over it, which is fortunate.
M begins school tomorrow, and while I am looking forward to it in many ways, I'm also concerned for his happiness. He will have the same ambivalent teacher as the prior two years, and I don't know how happy he's going to be with me when he discovers that same crowded classroom tomorrow. Things just don't seem 'right' with M again, though in a different way then I have noticed in the past. For starters, he's having bowel movements only once every 2-4 days. This child was regular as could be, and I'm hoping that getting back to the typical school routine will help. But on top of this he is doing his head shake again. This is something we haven't seen since he was a baby. On rare occasions, I truly believe he shook his head in an appropriate gesturing of 'no.' But on most occasions, it is as though something is awry in his body; like an electrical buzzing is firing through him making his head shake side to side in an uncontrolled way. The sounds and look of panic on his face that occur when this is happening are horrible for a mother to watch. This happens with no known impetus as well as when he doesn't want to do something that is asked of him. As I explained to his ABA therapist, it is a total freak out. No better way to explain it. He just doesn't seem to have control and I can't tell it if it is something organic or behaviorally derived. It's tough knowing whether or not to seek medical advice or examination when you have a non-verbal child. You don't want to run to a doctor for every single thing when they likely won't know any better than you. But the worry nags at you and won't let go...
B starts back at nursery school in two weeks. He is definitely missing his buddies and that space that is all his own. He and I have butted heads way more than normal this past month that he has been out of school, making me miss my little man's mostly-sweet demeanor and helpful attitude. It's definitely still there in glimpses; wedged tightly between large bouts of non-stop talking and a disrespectful attitude. My friends who have children six months older than B keep telling me that this is a very three and a half thing. I'm going to hold onto that until he turns four and hope that they are right!
So that is the latest in Mama Deb land. Off I go to drink coffee in the heat since my need for caffeine clearly outweighs my need for cooling off. Hope those of you with little ones had successful starts to the school year!