Where In The World Is Debbie?

Sorry, faithful four readers. I have been out of blogging mode for a few weeks now. Every single day I think of something to blog about, but the snot that has filled my head for the last five days has apparently also penetrated my brain with nothing but whiny thoughts. So for your sake, I will leave you instead with a sweet video of my boys during an early 2nd birthday celebration we had while back on the mother ship. M absolutely loves the happy birthday song, so we sang it to him too! Hope everyone's holiday is merry and bright. And snot-free.

Five Years & Two Days Ago My Baby Boy Was Born

So I missed my 'today is my boy's birthday' moment...but it's been a busy week and I've been a wee bit under the weather. But regardless, I wanted to shout out to those three readers out there that 'HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD!'

Where have the years gone, for real? Can he really be five already? Bless this sweet little soul of fiveness...he had quite the birthday extravaganza with a special, impromptu visit from his 'Mama,' Grandma T from Plano. We were thrilled to see his interest in the tower of presents he awoke to, all wrapped up in 'Cars' wrapping paper. He kept looking at those gifts on the dining table saying 'Hudson? Hudson?' (as in Doc Hudson) And he actually helped a little in the unwrapping process, which was a thrill to see.
Later in the day we drove down to Felton (south of Santa Cruz) to Roaring Camp where we rode an old-timey steam engine train up into the redwoods. He loved it! We got home and had birthday cake and Happy Birthday singing. (M's favorite thing, though he'd prefer to say it, "Appo boatday.") And you know what? Gluten-free, casein-free chocolate cake doesn't have to be really gross, and it fact it tasted pretty good, though I admit my frosting skills left a little to be desired. We still have not witnessed the long awaited candle blowout, but when we finally do, let me tell you there will be tears shed! (Parents of children with special needs can relate to the fact that you learn to not take the seemingly simplest of abilities for granted. It is one of the gifts of this journey we are given)
Then, the following day, it was like birthday celebrating all over again as we joined the other half at Great America for an afternoon of rides. M was in hog heaven going round and round on whatever you put him on. It was like a sensory system smorgasbord! (Does that word remind anyone of else of Miss Piggy? I haven't the slightest idea why it did me. Perhaps it was the fact that smorgasbords of my youth were of the South Carolina variety where a giant pig was roasted. Hmmm? Points to ponder...)

Uh, okay...I got a little off track there with the Miss Piggy thing. Sorry about that.

So all in all, I think M really got it a bit more this year, which was wonderful to witness. It is a hard to explain to others how it feels to have a child who is supposed to be of the age to enter kindergarten yet you can't actually guage what they can and cannot understand. But M gives us little glimpses into his insight on occasion that we cherish, analzye and sometimes break our hearts over. For example, the night before his birthday, the other half again reminded him that the next day would be his big day, etc., etc. To which M looked at him and said, 'Then where are all my friends, Cory?' Cory is M's very best friend in the whole wide world, but he also lives back in Texas. You can imagine how heartbreaking it was to hear him say this. And yet, as much as this made me wish that my little boy had a million Corys here who I could invite over for a birthday party, hearing that he'd said this also made me somewhat happy because it means that cognitively he is growing and starting to understand the world in which he lives. There is a light in there. We just have to continue to try and figure out how to make it burn brighter. And with that, I raise a glass in toast to my little boy, my monkey man, my firstborn. To M...you are loved so very much. Happy birthday, little man.

I care too much.

I don't mean that in a saintly, charitable kind of way (though, I do think I'm pretty friggin' charitable, thank you very much!), but in the why-do-I-give-a-crap-what-people-think-of-me kind of way.
I've lived in this new town for over three months now. Those who know me, know that I have an easy time of making friends, and that it is imperative for my sanity to do so soon after moving to a new place. I was easily welcomed into a playgroup of Mom's with kids who are B's age. They've all been great, and a couple of them are becoming good friends who I really and truly like. But there's *this one* Mom. From the first time I met her, I knew we were like water and oil. I made a nervous joke about B's penchant for unintentionally throwing f-bombs when what he really means is 'truck,' and it was clear to me that her east coast breeding thought my Texas brashness was less than charming. It's been awkward ever since.
And then there's the part where every time I see her and her child, B decides to hit the little boy. Does B know?? Is he sticking up for his Mama? Nah...he just likes to hit right now, unfortunately, and I, (again because I care too much about what others think of me), find myself constantly apologizing and having come to Jesus conversations with B that don't do much good.

So here's the kicker and the reason for this post...today the playgroup was at sweet little E's birthday party. We're leaving and a Mom I really like says, 'So, will you be at H's birthday tomorrow?' I'd heard reference to said party last week at another playdate and brushed it aside. I responded, 'Well, uh, no. I wasn't invited.' The Mom apologized profusely to which I sincerely replied, 'It's cool. It is what it is.' And that IS how I feel. I mean, kids' birthday parties aren't REALLY that exciting, you know? But clearly I am still a tiny bit bugged by it all.
I've noticed, also, that this particular Mom, though never rude, does not address me unless I speak to her first. It is quite odd.

I have theories on this, of course. One stems from her coming to my house and then asking me a thousand questions on what my husband does for a living, etc. etc. And another has to do with me thinking that perhaps she thinks southern girls are a little too rough around the edges.

The point of this is that I don't like not being liked! Though on the flip side, being in my mid 30s (gasp) has also given me the freedom to not need to be "good" friends with everyone, and to appreciate the differences between acquaintances, friends, and close friends. There's such great value to the latter, as I have grown to realize. And given how little time I have for much other than changing diapers, trying to make healthy meals, and driving my kids all over creation, you've really got to cherish those close friendships; nurture and grow them. Make time for them. Because those are the ones that really matter. Not the ones involving someone who can't invite you to junior's playdate birthday party.

Phew! That feels better. Now onto bigger things, right? Like my office, as pictured above. This was that room in the house where all things which had no place went. This included boxes and boxes full of our book collection. We finally bought some shelves, but before they were put together, I unpacked all the books and boys had themselves quite a field day knocking down my neat piles and smearing them throughout the room.
I purchased these bookshelves from Target.com and they're pretty nice for the price. I'm also checking out stacksandstacks.com for some other organizing ideas.

Hakuna matata, man.