I'll bet just about every parent of a child with special needs--but more specifically a child with autism--has heard the story of someone they know being told to just accept that their child was never going to progress...never going to amount to much...never say 'I love you.' I know I've heard these stories hundreds of times and have always counted my blessings with the knowledge that there was still *hope* for my child. I've never thought he would be a rocket scientist...I'm not sure I've ever really believed he'd even graduate from school. But I
His teacher--with her comment that 'maybe this is just who M is'--in a much subtler way told me to accept that he is not going to amount to much and is going to live the rest of his life as a very difficult human being to be around.
You may think I am reading something into this phrase that isn't there, but I assure you I am not. Her intent was not to be hurtful or malicious--this is the only difference between what she said and what I have heard others to have been told. But the message is still the same and I will not accept it. This is NOT our future for M. It is our present, yes; and it really does suck at times, but we will get past it with the help of the right people. I have to keep telling myself that we will find those people and a way to work with them. I have to. I have to. I have to.