I Know The Answer!

Question: If you pee your pants in your dreams does that mean you actually did it in real life?

Answer: No! But you sure as heck better use it as an indicator that you need to wake your ass up and go to the bathroom.

Question: If you dream that there are fleas in your hair the size of beetles does that mean you really have fleas?

Answer: Possibly. Small bite on arm might be an indicator that the fleas the poor, neglected dog next door clearly has have ventured over to your property.
Edited to add: Nope on the fleas...it's poison oak. The other half got it back in the woods behind our house :(

Yes, folks, I am still sleeping like crap. Melatonin? Valerian root? Chamomile tea? Because clearly wine isn't doing the trick!

When Your Mind Is Boggled...

...you tend to have sleepless nights and weird dreams. The other half couldn't sleep last night and got out of bed (after tossing and turning all night) at 5 am to do work. This is not the norm in our house, but he's busy and we've clearly got a few things floating around our heads keeping us preoccupied. It felt like it took me an hour to get (somewhat) back to sleep after that. During this time (I think) I had two really weird dreams that I thought I'd share with you.

The first took place in a large school auditorium. I don't remember most of it, but I do remember that Gwendomama was teaching music class on the stage to M and other children and then administered vaccines to them. Except she didn't give the vaccine herself, I did with her guidance. M didn't cry after the first one, so I gleefully said to her 'Let's go ahead and give him another one then!' And so I did. It then dawned on me what I had just done and I had a minor freak out. I asked her what the vaccines were and she told me 'Measles and syphilis.' To which I replied, 'NOT the full MMR, right?' And she assured me that no, she'd separated the vaccine and just given measles. Well, phew for that! haha. And as for the syphillis thing, it totally is a reaction to me having read my People magazine yesterday where Marcia Brady talks about how her Grandma had syphillis and passed it onto her Mom and both women ended up in institutions, leaving Marcia Brady scared she had syphillis too and was going to go crazy.
Gwendomama, I'm sorry to have put you into my dream as the evil vaccinator...sorry about that. I have to say this one sort of made me chuckle to recall today.

The other dream involved the other half and I going back to Austin to visit an old friend and her three kids. When I got there, she told me that he husband was on a business trip, her kids were with her mother-in-law for a week, and oh-by-the-way she was having an affair with a 20-year-old who worked at Amazon that she'd met online and was leaving us at her house right that minute to go meet and have sex with. I was so upset about her having an affair and was trying really, really hard to convince her to break it off, but the last thing I remember was her grabbing her purse and keys and heading out the door. Guess I can't compete with 20-year-olds who work at Amazon!

So, yeah...a good night's sleep would be pretty cool.

The Set List

Here in the world of the blistless I am unable to come up with something extraordinarily witty to regale you lovely readers, so I am going to steal the idea one of you (hi, C back in A-town!) gave me. Well, stealing would be the wrong word since she actually called me one day with the idea.

I know you've been waiting on pins and needles for the results (not) so let's not waste anymore time, shall we?

*I'd like to preface this by saying that my one remaining brain cell does not currently have the power to compute the precise order in which I would perform the following tunes, so please don't go all psychology 101 on me and tell me that "x" should not follow "y" because it might depress the crowd, okay?

**I'd also like to preface this by saying that I am siting the singers of these songs and not necessarily the songwriters...for those nitpickers out there.

Here goes...

1. Angel from Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt
2. Me & Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin (Though I have to tell you...after way too many karaoke performances I'm getting kind of sick of this one)
3. Lonely Teardrops - Jackie Wilson
4. A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
5. Life by the Drop - Stevie Ray Vaughan
6. If I Fell In Love With You - The Beatles
7. When I Think of You - Dolly Parton
8. Long Ride Home - Patty Griffin
9. Little Red Corvette - Prince
10. Ode to Billy Joe - Bobbie Gentry
11. Hurts So Bad - Susan Tedeschi
12. Morphine & Chocolate - 4 Non Blondes
13. Circle of Friends - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians
14. Not a Drop of Rain - Robert Earl Keen
15. Seven Year Ache - Roseanne Cash
16. Fly - Patty Griffin

And there you have it, folks.

I know there are at least a couple of you out there in cyberland who still have that seemingly-lost dream of singing again. What's your song list?